i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Only a mothe r could love this liver
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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