Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
