I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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