oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
