So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
