me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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