I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
