5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
