Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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