is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
