I got chris browned last night
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
