I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fuck appropriateness.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
