the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
