I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
