maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
