it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You ruined the universe
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
