So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
