I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
