I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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