I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
