I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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