Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
