my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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