i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
