I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I am available for nakedness
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
