Only a mothe r could love this liver
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
His nipple licking is glorious
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