I hate your face
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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