I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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