Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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