thus making me awesome and them whores
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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