i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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