heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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