Its about making memories worth repressing
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
