Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
