so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
