The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
