I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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