the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
