In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
