Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
