when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
