Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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