do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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