I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
