But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
