Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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