The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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