I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
