You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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