38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
love makes seman taste better
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
